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Pre-Baby Connection Questions for Couples

You may find you and your partner talking about your baby often. As new parenthood approaches, we can't help but pick our partners brain to discover how they are feeling. Here are some questions to include throughout these conversations.


These questions will help guide you to plan for the postpartum time and transition into parenthood. Throughout the pregnancy, include these questions during a date night, evening walk, car ride or pillow talk! They will help both of you have a better idea of how your partner is feeling and what expectations they have for after the birth.



  1. What are you most excited about with being a parent?

  2. What are you most uncertain about with being a parent?

  3. What is your overall feeling about your childhood and growing up?

  4. What are things in your childhood that you want to prioritize with your children?

  5. What are things in your childhood you would like to change with your children?

  6. What are some values we would like to prioritize in our family?

  7. Are there any areas in our relationship you would like to strengthen before baby comes?

  8. What are some strengths and weaknesses in our communication with each each other?

  9. How do you feel about our finances right now in preparation for baby to arrive?

  10. Do you feel emotionally supported by me? What can I do differently for you to feel more supported?

  11. Do you feel that our living space and environment are what you need them to be? What can we do to improve it?

  12. What kind of parenting approach would you like to utilize? Are you interested in doing more learning about different parenting styles?

  13. How do you envision sharing responsibilities when the baby arrives? Do you feel like this will be a smooth or difficult change to our relationship?

  14. Would you be interested in staying at home with the baby? Could we afford it financially?

  15. What do you think will be the most challenging adjustment to having a baby?

  16. Do you think our drinking or smoking habits should change after having the baby?

  17. Do you expect or desire our children to be raised with a certain spiritual or religious faith? If so, what does that look like?

  18. Do you feel comfortable setting up boundaries with your side of the family?

  19. Are there any family members that may overstep our boundaries regarding how we parent our children? If so, how will we address this?

  20. Do you think it would be beneficial or necessary to see a couples therapist prior to having a baby?


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